Despite the fact that dating is about you, it's not personal! Stick with me here, because things are about to get really muddy before the clarity hits!
When you are on a dating app, stop taking everything on the dating app so personally. It's HARD, I know! Dating profiles are about you. About your likes, your dislikes, your hopes and dreams and it reflects your genuine self. You are trying to interest another person in you so it seems very personal. It seems like this is all about you.
Dating sucks because of all the rejection. And although it may SEEM very personal, it isn't. The other person doesn't know you and vice versa. It isn't personal for either of you! Seriously - it isn't personal! Can I say that again...at this stage of dating, nothing is personal.
Hopefully, you have a well-written profile that articulates who you are but your profile is not who you are. It describes you, it clearly makes statements about your likes and it is a genuine and honest reflection of you...but it isn't you. Things are not personal at this stage. Any type of rejection isn't personal.
Do you get angry and feel hurt when someone doesn't respond? When they disappear or ghost you? Or when they send one-word responses to your interesting questions?
Until you meet in person, you are just words on a dating app. You are not real to the other person. Your messages to each other are just virtual words. made to a real human being, but you are still not a 'real' person until you meet.
Take note here that you still need to treat everyone with honesty and respect in your online interactions and your in-person dates.
If you are like most people, you are taking these rejections personally. It feels personal. It feels like someone looked at you and judged you as not good enough to date. That feeling hurts.
If you can change your perspective so that you recognize that you are not yet real to the other person, rejection or generally bad behavior on a date doesn't hurt so much because it is their bad behavior and not a reflection of you. If you behave honorably, you can be proud of yourself, which eliminates feeling rejected.
So you are not their cup of tea! Nobody likes all the flavors of tea out there and some of us love coffee more anyway.
Your feelings will be hurt less if you can remember that it's not personal - despite the fact that it is all about you!
Quite a mind trip, isn't it?
