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'Why', Not 'Weird' Dating and Relationship Advice

I was scrolling through Instagram and I read a quote (unattributed) "I want to date someone who wants to know 'why' I've been quiet all day, not someone who gets upset that I'm acting 'weird'"

I've been reflecting on why this has stuck with me. I think because there are so many layers of meaning...so let's dive in and explore more in-depth.

On social media and on dating apps it's easy to lose sight of who you truly are. But being authentic is crucial for attracting the right kind of connection. It's not about pretending to be someone we're not, but about embracing our unique qualities.


It might seem strange at first and you may worry about being accepted or being 'normal', but hiding our true selves only attracts people who like our looks. Embracing our authentic selves allows us to find people who truly value and understand us.

Don't ever believe that you need to hide your true self to be accepted. You can find someone interested in your 'why'!


A cartoon boy and girl about to kiss while floating above a heart shaped platform
One Weird Kiss

It's natural to fear rejection, but hiding our true selves only leads to a fake relationship. We should celebrate our unique weirdness and trust that the right person will be drawn to that.

In online dating, communication goes beyond written messages. It's our body language. Our actions, behaviors, and even moments of silence can say A LOT about our emotions and intentions. When someone asks why we've been quiet, it shows their desire to understand us on a deeper level. This form of communication is essential for building a strong foundation in any relationship.

It's not true that silence is always bad.

Silence can have various reasons, such as time to think or needing time alone. Instead of jumping to conclusions, it's important to be non-judgmental, creating an environment where you feel comfortable sharing thoughts and emotions.

Vulnerability is the key to emotional intimacy in relationships. It takes courage to share our fears, insecurities, and dreams with another person. When we desire someone who wants to know the 'why' behind our actions, we seek a partner who appreciates vulnerability. By opening up, we invite our significant other to understand and support us in our journey, fostering a deeper connection built on trust.

The people you don't want to date believe that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness.

Contrary to this belief, vulnerability is a sign of strength. It allows us to be our authentic selves and creates opportunities for genuine connections. Embracing vulnerability paves the way for emotional growth within a relationship.

By asking 'why' we gain empathy. Empathy forms the foundation of meaningful relationships. It means putting ourselves in another person's shoes and understanding their feelings. When we desire someone who wants to know the 'why' behind our actions, we long for empathy—a genuine effort to comprehend our experiences and perspectives. By practicing empathy, we create an environment where both partners feel heard, validated, and supported.

Too many people believe empathy is unnecessary and seek someone who just agrees. By dismissing empathy, we risk building shallow relationships devoid of genuine understanding. Those are the kinds of relationships where you just do what's expected not to disturb the status quo...or not to act 'weird'. Trust is the bedrock of healthy relationships. When we long for someone who seeks to understand the 'why' behind our actions, we express a desire for trust that goes beyond surface-level interactions. Trust is established through consistent communication, respect, and a genuine interest in understanding one another's motivations, dreams, and aspirations. Building trust requires time and effort, but it creates a sense of security and allows both individuals to be vulnerable without fear of judgment. Trust is earned through consistent actions and open communication. Instantly trusting someone without evidence can lead to disappointment and heartache if they prove untrustworthy. Taking the time to build trust step by step ensures a solid foundation for a lasting and meaningful relationship.

Curiosity is the driving force behind personal and emotional growth within relationships. When we desire a partner who wants to know the 'why' behind our actions, we express a longing for someone genuinely interested in our journey of self-discovery. A curious partner seeks to understand our motivations, dreams, and aspirations, creating an environment where we can grow together.

Curiosity within a relationship should be driven by genuine care and interest, not invasive questioning. It presents an opportunity to deepen the connection, broaden perspectives, and support each other's growth. By nurturing curiosity, we create an environment where both partners can flourish individually and as a couple.

Patience also plays a crucial role in fostering understanding within relationships. When we long for someone who wants to know the 'why' behind our actions, we express a desire for patience—a willingness to give time and space for explanation and comprehension. Patience allows us to navigate misunderstandings, resolve differences, and develop a deeper understanding of our partner's thoughts and emotions. By cultivating patience, we create an atmosphere where understanding can flourish. It allows us to navigate challenges, engage in meaningful conversations, and build a stronger bond based on empathy and mutual respect.

Online dating apps prioritize instant gratification over meaningful connections. However, by focusing on understanding someone, we lay the groundwork for relationships that can stand the test of time. Understanding the 'why' behind our actions and seeking partners who value this depth can lead to authentic connections rooted in trust, empathy, vulnerability, and curiosity.

True fulfillment comes from connections built on trust, understanding, and shared experiences. By seeking partners who value the 'why' behind our actions, we create opportunities for authentic and enriching relationships that bring long-lasting happiness.

Finding genuine connections may seem challenging, but the reward of a loving relationship makes the journey worth it. By embracing authenticity, effective communication, vulnerability, empathy, trust, curiosity, patience, and building lasting connections, we unlock the power of understanding within our relationships.

Embrace the journey of self-discovery and seek partners who appreciate the 'why' behind our actions. Together, we can transform the landscape of online dating, fostering a world where authentic connections thrive and true love finds its way.


Share this article with those seeking meaningful connections and inspire them to delve deeper, beyond the surface, in their pursuit of love and understanding.

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